"Result of punishment in parenting" - Views: 925 · Hits: 925 - Type: Public

The things that I'm about to share with you had been happening since I can remember myself up until 16 years of age.

Imagine that you're a child. A very young one. You are interested in exploring the world. Trying out everything new that comes into your mind(of course I'm talking about constructive ideas). Yet, your parents are not very mature as of getting along with each other and also career path and last but not least raising children. They haven't lived their lives the way they would like but instead the safe way. Just getting a job somewhere got get some money. And of course by doing this somewhere along the line you lose your way and become totally lost. Having no idea what to do with your life(probably not as bad for them or other average people but bad enough for people with an attitude of self- growth and success in carreer and family).

If I give enough detail I think I might become even more negative towards the situation so I'm going to give just enough to get the idea.

So, long story short I was punished every time I didn't feel like studying some totally useless school subject(I can't be more sure than I am now when I'm in the peek of my starup of a company). I was forced to study them. Luckily enough I haven't been beaten but I have been tortured in a way like(standing straight up next to some wall, your hands up, not being able to put htem down even for a minute) or at some situations even worse. I was grounded for my whole school vacations or less but just enough to lose my connections with my friends for that time. This was very painful for me because I was the kind of social boy that liked having many friends and so on.

Usually when my dad asksed me to go do smth with him I wasn't quite interested, so I refused to do it and instead went out play with my frs or stay on the computer. But when I was grounded things were different. When you are used to going out every day for an unlimited amount of time(not quite, generally speaking) and you get grounded for more than a week you just tend to do everything in order to go out or do smth different than just staying at home watching tv. You also start doing activities you woudn't usually do and like. You become more negative and less attracted to and curious about what you would normally be. Deep down a feeling of anger and annoyance gets stacked little by little.

Now the other type of punishment.. standing tall next to the wall your hands up.. Well I think this played the most important role in the advancement of the feeling of annoyance when hearing people..(explained in the intro). Every time I defended my opinion this used to happen. Meanwhile me staying like this for hours(sometimes my hands having no blood in them afterwards :D) I used to listen to my parents talking so calmly, quietly(smth didn't usually happen just an occasions like this), so patiently listening to one another(again smth that didn't usually happen), so relaxed,( as if I hadn't been there at all. As if they had forgotten about me every time this happened. I was in an enormous pain and I remember every time my thoughts were like "Hey, no problem parents, I'm just hanging out here and having fun, you can continue with your interesting conversations for like always it's np" or when I got a little bit tired after a few hours "Pleaseee just recall that I''m still here behind you waiting for you to tell me that I'm free to go". But this didn't happen most of the times. They just continued talking quitely, eating peacefully, watching tv and so on. Hahaha, one time my dad let me eat before he punished me and I ate until I started puking all the food I had eaten and then of course I got my punishment again. After some time he even felt asleep. He coudn't endure just lying on the bed waithing for the TV show to end it was too painful. Then after an hour my mum gained the guts to tell me to put my hands down. And this had been repeating for years and years. I'm lucky I somehow managed to stay strong and not go mentally ill or crazy or whatever.

After that I became very strong personality in terms of endurance and self- motivation. These are the pros for which I can say that my parents aren't the ones that I owe this to. Yet, things weren't the same. Every time I hear these noises(similar to the ones I explained above, while staying straight next to the wall) outside or no matter where, unless there is smth very, very interesting that I'm focused on, I get annoyed, at times even angry. Up until ninth grade I hoped they would disappear but nah, I guess I was wrong. After sixth grade I even stopped noticing the reasons why and when this is happening. It had already become a habit.