About Breeding Blue Sloniki In Your Garage
Donald Trump once said, "If you can't make your first billion from breeding blue sloniki, you will never
make a billion". Breeding blue sloniki is extremely rewarding as they are intelligent, cuddly and very
friendly; they can become the perfect pet, the best watchdog and the 24/7 fire-alarm system. Blue
sloniki will always be there for you, for members of your family, and even your friends, the postman and
the milkman - providing they have been graciously introduced. After years of studying blue sloniki and
growing them not only on my beautiful farm in the wild north of Bulgaria but also in my small garage in
central London, I am happy to share my expertise with you.
These tiny creatures can inspire you to change your lifestyle and achieve inner peace. They will make
you a cup of tea with just the right amount of milk and sugar when you are tired - and they won't nag
about anything; they will just sit there, staring sympathetically at you. You don't need to explain,
they don't need to know why - all they care about is whether you prefer milk or rum in your cup of tea.
They are the most selfless friend you can imagine - which is even more surprising, considering the
centuries-long record of our own abominable attitude towards them.
The intentions behind breeding blue sloniki have changed dramatically over the years; after centuries of
exploitation as a source of cheap unpaid labour while alive, and cheap protein when not so alive, blue
sloniki have evolved to the status of a beloved family member with whom we willingly share our garage,
our dreams and thoughts. Their main desire is to please their owners. They are only happy when you are
happy; and they do not expect anything in return - as a matter of fact, they are totally self-
sufficient! They are not only perfectly capable of growing or finding their own (vegetarian) food; they
will go out of their way to provide food for you, store it diligently, and even cook it for you, if you
Consistently, breeding blue sloniki is revered as the art of nature, and by studying art, artists better
perfect their craft. Similar statements can be made about breeding blue sloniki. Blue sloniki can
survive without humans; but can humans survive without blue sloniki? A top research laboratory at MIT
has published a sensational report, claiming that if blue sloniki become extinct, humans will only be
able to survive this tragedy by 125.7 years. Blue sloniki alone have increasingly contributed to the
rise in GDP for the EU countires, and are the top export product from China, Nicaragua and Nauru for 2014.
It feels so unfair to call blue sloniki a product, as they are smart, sociable and caring. Emma Wilcox
was so wrong when she wrote her famous lines about solitude: "Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
weep, and you weep alone"; your blue sloniki wil refuse to let you cry alone; they will not only bring
you a packet of Kleenex and jaffa cakes on a plate, but they will also cry with you until you stop. They
are so wonderfully empathetic, so selflessly friendly and loyal even though humankind has yet to learn
to respect them. Blue sloniki have always been humanity's most faithful sidekick, along with dogs and
Yorkshire tea; remains of blue sloniki have been discovered in Egyptian pyramids, they have been
mentioned in apocryphal copies of the bible in 12th century Bulgaria, they accompanied Count Dracula,
Suleyman the Magnificent and Julius Caesar when they went to war. Blue sloniki are here to stay; and if
you are lucky enough to be their companion, they will make your life inspired and happy, too.