"Ch. 1: About Breeding Blue Sloniki In Your Garage" - Views: 1,091 · Hits: 1,091 - Type: Public

About Breeding Blue Sloniki In Your Garage

Donald Trump once said, "If you can't make your first billion from breeding blue sloniki, you will never 

make a billion". Breeding blue sloniki is extremely rewarding as they are intelligent, cuddly and very 

friendly; they can become the perfect pet, the best watchdog and the 24/7 fire-alarm system. Blue 

sloniki will always be there for you, for members of your family, and even your friends, the postman and 

the milkman - providing they have been graciously introduced. After years of studying blue sloniki and 

growing them not only on my beautiful farm in the wild north of Bulgaria but also in my small garage in 

central London, I am happy to share my expertise with you.

These tiny creatures can inspire you to change your lifestyle and achieve inner peace. They will make 

you a cup of tea with just the right amount of milk and sugar when you are tired - and they won't nag 

about anything; they will just sit there, staring sympathetically at you. You don't need to explain, 

they don't need to know why - all they care about is whether you prefer milk or rum in your cup of tea. 

They are the most selfless friend you can imagine - which is even more surprising, considering the 

centuries-long record of our own abominable attitude towards them.

The intentions behind breeding blue sloniki have changed dramatically over the years; after centuries of 

exploitation as a source of cheap unpaid labour while alive, and cheap protein when not so alive, blue 

sloniki have evolved to the status of a beloved family member with whom we willingly share our garage, 

our dreams and thoughts. Their main desire is to please their owners. They are only happy when you are 

happy; and they do not expect anything in return - as a matter of fact, they are totally self-

sufficient! They are not only perfectly capable of growing or finding their own (vegetarian) food; they 

will go out of their way to provide food for you, store it diligently, and even cook it for you, if you 

wish.

Consistently, breeding blue sloniki is revered as the art of nature, and by studying art, artists better 

perfect their craft. Similar statements can be made about breeding blue sloniki. Blue sloniki can 

survive without humans; but can humans survive without blue sloniki? A top research laboratory at MIT 

has published a sensational report, claiming that if blue sloniki become extinct, humans will only be 

able to survive this tragedy by 125.7 years. Blue sloniki alone have increasingly contributed to the 

rise in GDP for the EU countires, and are the top export product from China, Nicaragua and Nauru for 2014.

It feels so unfair to call blue sloniki a product, as they are smart, sociable and caring. Emma Wilcox 

was so wrong when she wrote her famous lines about solitude: "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; 

weep, and you weep alone"; your blue sloniki wil refuse to let you cry alone; they will not only bring 

you a packet of Kleenex and jaffa cakes on a plate, but they will also cry with you until you stop. They 

are so wonderfully empathetic, so selflessly friendly and loyal even though humankind has yet to learn 

to respect them. Blue sloniki have always been humanity's most faithful sidekick, along with dogs and 

Yorkshire tea; remains of blue sloniki have been discovered in Egyptian pyramids, they have been 

mentioned in apocryphal copies of the bible in 12th century Bulgaria, they accompanied Count Dracula, 

Suleyman the Magnificent and Julius Caesar when they went to war. Blue sloniki are here to stay; and if 

you are lucky enough to be their companion, they will make your life inspired and happy, too.