The most mentally challenged fanfiction for my own product I have ever wrote
Once upon a time, harpies were creatures of regular intelligence. They were ruled over by the Grayfeather royal family.
The last harpy king, King Daedalus Grayfeather, built a kingdom out of Pandaen bars, a material that was
reasonably strong and light at the same time. As Daedalus was beginning his daily routine by first taking a
fly down to the middle-cloud, surveying the lands below, he spotted a small floating island, it seemed it
had been blasted in the middle by harpy weaponry. The king flew down to the island and inside, he found the
remains of dead harpy soldiers, who seemed to have died protecting two small harpy chicks. Out of
sympathy, Daedalus decided to adopt them.
The first of the chicks, Valdaris, was a harpy of average intelligence, but a creative mind(average at their time)
. He had spent his free time drawing and inventing... useless stuff. But Daedalus respected his creativity in
his own way, and when it came to teaching him stuff, he never failed to listen, and was a decently quick learner.
The second of the chicks, who had no name and was jokingly named "Sci-Fly"(Which became his official name)
, was the most stupid retarded ugly thing in the whole wide .wlds of Terraria. In fact, he was so stupid he tried
to eat Val once, mistaking him for a silver biscuit.(Which don't exist, btw) Not only that, he was also arrogant and
annoying, claiming he knows everything and speaking in such a horrible voice that half of the palace serveants
were psychologically destroyed and downgraded to the same level of IQ as him. The other half commited suicide.
As Daedalus lost his allies one by one, due to the unnatural voice of Sci, he decided they had to go. After one final lesson,
Daedalus said 'nope' to Sci and loaded him into the ceremonial "farewell cannon", which harpies traditionally used to
send their children out of the nest, ushering in adulthood. (except Daedalus loaded the cannon with 18x more gunpowde
ISSAZZZAA NUT FARE! VVAL SHUD GU 2 I AM STULL 4 WRES OLD HORHOR! chriped (<what sci fly does to ur english)
Sci fly. Daedalus has had it. He pictured himself flying into a wall and exploding violently, ending his miserable existence.
He was so close to achieving that, he only had to get rid of the troublesome chick once and for all.
Fine. Val, you too. said a reluctant Daedalus. "Fine father, If you wish, I will go to. May the Harpy kingdom live on. Goodbye!"
replied Valdaris. He loaded himself into another cannon(which wasnt made to assasinate him)
Daedalus gave the signal and a massive "Bang" was heard. turns out the cannon couldnt stand Sci's presence and shot a homing
transparent HAXXOR lASER that homed into itself. WE FLEEEEE! Screamed Sci fly as he flew off into the distance.
reluctantly, Valdaris decided to follow, as their chance of survival would be greatly increased in twos.. not.
King Daedalus was troubled. The remaining of the harpy survivors had just reported that the western territories has somehow been corrupted
, and a strange blue land had appeared on the East. With the remaining soldiers of the Harpy Assault Team(HSA), he confronted
the corrupted floating islands. As they flew, he saw half of a familiar floating island which it seemed like the one he found the chicks,
with similar signs of Harpy weaponry being used on it. At last he realised that it must have been Harpy troops who
had seen the hatchery island getting corrupted at some point, and blasted the island in half in order to prevent the corruption
from reaching the chicks, and defended the incoming waves of vile creatures until no one, Harpy or Corrupted was left.
Meanwhile, Sci fly was like "LES BOOD UR CITE!!!"
Valdaris: I hope your kidding. Have you heard the story of rome?
Of course, Sci fly was too dumb to have any outside-third-wall info. Valdaris reluctantly agreed, and to prevent
the same mistake Remus had made, he decided to work on the same city as Sci and STAY working on it.
After a day, they were done. Valdaris had done all the hard work, layering tiles and crafting materials, while
scifly had done the architecture, based loosely off his hatchery room, one with a starry wallpaper.
"I SHEL COL DIS NU ALLOY... SIX YEAR OLDIMITE!" Exclaimed Sci fly. (AND IZ ALL MIN!!!)
I think Sunplate sounds much better. Replied valdaris.
NUUUUUUUUUUUU cried scifly, as he broke out into tears. After a long argument, sci reluctantly agreed.
"IZ NUT FAIIIRRR, I DO HARD WORK MUCH U GET WEWAD EEEEEEEEEE meep" said scifly, but val
ignored him. After some time, a new harpy city was under construction.
After 16 years, sci fly became the king of this new city, though valdaris was older, sci fly insisted.
On an expedition to scavenge for floating lands, Valdaris spotted a mysterious object floating in the air.
The flew up to it, and found one of the most amazing things Valdaris had ever seen. Another harpy city,
in all of its greatness. Which was zero because the entire city was blasted and corrupted.
After scavenging the ruins, Valdaris found evidence of a long and hard final stand of the Harpies.
He saw amidst the ruins, dried blood on the walls and drenched feathers scattered about. He explored on and found what remains of a grand
throne room, which now lacked grandeur in every way, and was creeping with purple grass. In the room's center, before the throne, was the broken hilt of a sword
that looked too familiar, almost like the one Valdaris's father used to spar against him in his childhood. Valdaris refused to believe that this was his father's fate,
and closed his eyes to pray hard that his father had survived, but in the ruin's silence, the only response was a low moan, a sound of a living thing in extreme pain,
but was actually a corrupted being's laugh. It, whatever it was, was mocking Valdaris. Laughing, and taking pleasure in the fate of that land. It seemed to promise,
that one day it would come for him and his brother too, if they would even survive that long. It was a dark being, an evil an impure entity, not of this world, Valdaris
realised as the being materialised on the battered throne as a further insult to him. It touched his mind, and reached into his last protection against the
depression that would be brought by his fathers death, denial, and broke it.
Screaming, raging and tearing at the air, Valdaris fled as the figure levitated along with him, and he flew all the way at speeds he never thought was
achievable, all the way out of the throne room, with a million voices of a single being taunting him at his back. He flew all the way until the voices were distant and the
ruins visible no more. He had escaped with his sanity to live another day, but not with his feelings fully intact.
To make matters worse, Professor Idiotwing had stolen blueprints of Valdaris's unfinished projects, constructed them and took his credit, before selling the
mechs for many a platinum coin. Once again, he had his another thing stolen from him. Scifly did not cooperate, and went around with his usual squawks of mental
instability. Utterly devastated, Valdaris retreated to the safety of his room, so royal and grand, fit for the Aegis of Harpykind that he is, but he did not feel so. Under
the entity's influence, he was nothing more than an ant as compared to the unlimited power of the Great Beyond. Nothing compared to the doom coming for him
and all that he loved and hated. Of course, no one would believe him, so Valdaris could only prepare for the coming storm in silence. He started to put his all
in the defences of the floating islands, as nothing could be more satisfying to him then the destruction of the Otherworldly Thing, but he still had to relax in the end.
Valdaris enjoyed relaxation in the midst of drawing up battle plans and blueprints of purification cannons by gazing down at the lands below. He started to notice
the small figure of a Terrarian chopping down trees, and building a house. Little did he know that one day, that Terrarian would be the one to fight him.